Love in the real world

I have often wondered about the word "LOVE." To use one word in the English language to describe a feeling always bothered me. Now all words are used to describe, define or name an object, tangible or otherwise, but this was one of those few words which really did not sit well with me. If I say I love pizza, this statement is true, I really like pizza, but then I turn right around and say I love my two daughters. Now this is either a really big compliment to the cook of the pizza or an insult to my daughters.

I am careful to use the word love. It is one of those overused words in the English language whose meaning has deteriorated to the equivalent of tourist junk on the side of the English language roadside. I also pride myself in being a writer with my stock and trade being words. I will be the first to admit that I have no idea what word I could create to replace love. I would dare purpose reserving the word love for something more basic, raw and real.

Everyday at work, I run into clients whom have been married for just a few months and then got a divorce, and then I get to meet those people whom were married for 45 years. Every once in a while I run into a widow that meets my idea of true love. Now, I am not in love with this person, but for all the ups and downs in life this widow had stuck with their spouse the entire time. Usually they have passed away a month or so ago and the person sitting across from me seems to be doing okay with the loss. A close inspection of their eyes reveal this is one of the last things this person wants to be doing or will do. I am so jealous of these people. I call it the Three Month Rule.

The three month rule is simple, basically if a spouse passes away, the length of the marriage is moot. It is the how the time is spent during the lives which matter. These 3 mothers cannot survive without the other person and die shortly after the death of the spouse. Nicholas Sparks wrote a novel called the "Notebook." The basic premise of the story is what I am talking about here. While his book was partially based on real events, I see this sort of story at least once a week. I am sad for those people, but at the same time, I am happy for them at the same time, not everyone is able to find this version of love. I hope to be one of those people.

I am married and have two beautiful girls. I hope and pray that they are able to have this experience in life. I hope they are able to find a person to spend the rest of their lives with which makes living in the good times and the bad times worth it all. I like to think I have found the same thing.

My wife and I have had a moments. There have been good ones and there have been bad ones. Some of the bad ones were epic in nature, the good ones were not always recognized at the time, but looking back on our relatively short marriage, I can't imagine life without her. This morning, after she and I had both been awake for a time, I put my arms around her and gave her a kiss on the top of her head. The moment only lasted for a short period of time, not even a fraction of a second in the ethos of time, but that was my moment, she allowed me to have it and to her, I am eternally grateful. No matter what happens, that will be mine and mine alone.

I also only have 3 real friends in this world. I have many many associates in which I have a vested interest. Some of my associates, I have never met in person thanks to today's technology with the Internet. I have met thousands of people in my life time through the course of my work and will continue to for the rest of my life. Out of all of these people, only 3 I have the honor of calling my friends. They are all different shapes, sizes and colors. What sets these 3 apart is that they will tell me the truth for my own well being. They do not tell me what I want to hear, they don't tell me what they think I should hear. They tell me what's what. The loss of these three people in my life would be devastating. Without my wife, my daughters and these three people, life is pretty hollow. I sincerely thank these people for being in my life. For them I get up every day, I fight the good fight, I want to be a better person for them.

To those I have mentioned, please take this from the bottom of my heart. I love you all. I still really dig pizza, but you all justify waking up and living each and every day.