Nudity and Uniquie uses of the English language

During my pre-marital days, if someone would have told me that I would live with four females and there would be vast amounts of nudity, I would have jumped at the opportunity. I would have gone into this situation without thinking twice. As the old adage goes, be careful of what you wish for as you just might get it.

I have a wife, two daughters and one cat, a female. Of coarse, the cat is always naked, but that does nothing for me. The rest of the girls in my household all subscribe to different levels of nudity. I like most men will say that my wife is not naked enough. My two daughters, ages 5 and 2 prefer to have the minimal amount of clothing.

I would have never have thought I would have used the sentences, "Put your pants back on while you are eating dinner," and "You have to wear panties, ALL THE TIME." In the evenings, I would be sitting there watching television or surfing the Internet and see one if not both of my daughters run through the house naked. When it is bedtime and clothes are being changed, there is a high possibility of streaking in my house.

My girls are the center of my universe. They are wonderful and at any moment in time, something can be said which is one for the ages. They are still working on mastering the English language, but their use of the language is quite unique. Here are some examples:

While sitting down to dinner one evening, all were eating quietly and not doing a lot of talking when the sound of tearing burlap echoed through the dining area. Everyone looked up and my youngest daughter said, "It was me." I am jealous of this. Just to have no inhibitions and to crank one out whenever you want. It's cute when they do it, rude and obnoxious when I do it.

My oldest came back from visiting our elderly neighbor. She was excited and could hardly talk. Once we got her calmed down, she said, "He got stung in the face by a Yellow Coat." My wife and I were perplexed for a second when we realized she was talking about a yellow jacket, a flying insect which really hurts when it bites.

Again, my oldest was in preschool when she came home one day and said that one of her teachers, "Caught on fire." Now to think that people were spontaneously combustioning at daycare is a bit disturbing. When we pressed her for more details, she said that "Ms. P..." the head of the day care center, got mad at one of the teachers because she was late and "Set her on fire." We figured out that the other teacher was fired, but sometimes, you just want to set someone on fire at your work, sure the paperwork for HR would be a bitch, but justifiably worth it.

I have argued with daughters and told them no they could not have any more Butter Hands. What they really wanted was Butter Finger candy bar. They also did not want to cut there Feet Nails. Instead of Toe Nails. It makes sense when they say it, but when I say it, people look at me funny. The same with the nudity, I walk outside naked and the police are called, when my girls dart outside missing articles of clothing, it's cute. This whole double standard is a pisser if you ask me.