Promoted to a level of incompetence

My job is filled with all manners of stress. There is the stress from the dealing with the public, there is the stress of processing claims in a timely fashion and then just to make matters worse, I have 2 managers who think the best way to get you to do your work is to hover over your shoulder and tell you how to do everything.

I try to get to work at 7:00 a.m. each day just so I can avoid my office manager. I know she is incapable of getting to work at any decent point in time and this is when I get a chance to get all of my work done. I am able to get more work done between the hours of 7:00 and 8:30 than what I do the rest of the day. My manager, whom I will from now on loving refer to her as Teabag, cannot understand how in the world I can do my job without her being in the building.

I guess I lost a lot of respect for Teabag when she told me that she had "...raised 5 sons..." and that she can "...handle a bunch of workers." I have two daughters. I don't treat my coworkers like I treat my daughters and if anyone thinks that running a complex agency is the same as raising children, then you really have your head stuck so far up your ass, you are looking out your nose.

She had sent an email message to the entire office stating that there would be a staff meeting from 8:15 through 9:00. I am always game for a good dog and pony show, and planned my day accordingly. I put off a couple of appointments for tomorrow thinking that I had a meeting today. At the appointed time, I shut down my work station and headed to the meeting area only to get the announcement that the meeting was re-scheduled until tomorrow. She had successfully ruined two mornings in the span of a few minutes.

A good friend of mine told me that everything she speaks, I should turn my bullshit radar on. My response was that as soon as she opens her mouth to yawn, my bullshit radar goes crazy. After the events of this morning, I had settled into a routine of listening to my music, approving and denying claims and just generally being productive when she showed up at my desk. Anytime she shows up, I get a cold chill down my back. I tried to ignore her for as long as possible but the she started talking in that shredded glass on a chalk board voice she has and asked if I knew anything about computers. A point of interest was that she had approved a mini-promotion for me to become a Site LAN Coordinator, a computer specialist. I was amazed that she asked and as I nodded my head she explained what she needed.

She told me about a report which was do at our regional office and that she needed help with an
Excel spreadsheet. Now Excel is not my best program, but I can get around it well enough. She stated that she was having problems with a particular spreadsheet and needed help getting it to "work." I am thinking that since this is a government agency, there is some sort of bars or graphs or some formula which needs to be added and expanded. I got up from my computer and headed into her office. When I got there I saw what her delima was. She needed to have 35 rows on a spread sheet and she only had 27. This fix is just a few simple clicks of the mouse and it was done. I asked her three times if this was all she needed. I thought I was being tested or something and as she repeated told me that was all. I couldn't believe it. This was a trick they teach you the first day of any basic computer class. I added this as fast as possible to first appear to be efficient as possible and two so that she could not see how I did it. Making her come to me every time she needs to have something done with a computer program is a humbling experience for her that I relish.

She is a true to form promoted to a level of incompetence professional. I am one of those guys who's a pain in the ass to try to manage as I question everything possible just to be questioning everything. She expects brick in the wall obedience. We don't get along. But hey, it's my job to be me. I know it drives her crazy and I can't help but dig it.